Mood: Still Tired
Listening To: Glacius - A Night In The Sky









I've just made a thought and I came up with a conclusion. I just realised that I'm not really boyfriend-material. I don't think my childish attitude would fit the taste of girls out there, as they just want guys who understand, matured, and those who can be there by their side most of the time.

I'm not. Maybe I can understand problems and situations. Probably a good listener to problems, and sometimes be by their side. But I guess I'm not qualified to be matured. Looking back at the past relationships, I'm glad that they once loved me for who I am, but the problem was that they just found me "cute". And when I say that most of my relationships (including the one with Vanesa) was a fling, I guess it really was a fling. Perhaps, an infatuation of this Eurasian guy who's cute! and all that? The truth is out there.

Plus, just a month ago, I've been feeling blank. I admire girls, and probably have a slight infatuation problem with them, but not a crush. Besides, I wouldn't want to find out that the girl that I might start chasing after would be occupied or not interested/ready for a relationship. And nobody likes being rejected.

So, I guess I'm better off being single. And if there's any problems I'm facing, I'll just have to kick myself in the nuts, and ask myself to suck it up and not whine about it because life is hard. Although it's hard, but it doesn't mean we have to commit suicide - that's the most important thing no matter how down we are.

And since I'm studying again (and paying for it..), I'd better pay full attention to the lectures and lessons in college now. So far, so good. I find the Marketing class the best besides English. It's not that bad.


And since the beans are spilt, and Debra getting her birthday suprise, I'll be working with Wormy very frequently regarding FDM. Keep your eyes out for any updates about the album!

Here's a checklist I need to complete before we can really start recording:

• Start saving money - for studio time and financing any expenses with FDM. Have to reduce joyrides with the Camry.
• Guitar strings - need to hunt for Ernie Ball .09 gauge strings for Lydian to start recording on most of the songs in FDM.
• Music composition for the tracks in FDM. Not too cheesy this time - I'll try, aight?
• Sleep. Lack of it makes me blur most of the time which reduces my concentration.
  

I guess that's about it for this update. I need to tone down from a 90%-10% to 20%-80% scale for my free time; playing NFS: Most Wanted and playing the guitar. I'd better concentrate a little bit more on the guitar instead of screeching tyres. The skin on my fingers are starting to peel off again, and my style of playing has turned a little bit messy. Time to practice, practice and practice!




Toodles.