Mood: Sleepy -_-Listening To: Glacius - Season of HeartbreaksReached
back home like around about 4.45 or so, after a short mamaking session
with Paul, Mei Lin, Guo Qiang and a sleepy dinobutt. Anyways, thanks to
Paul for picking us up after our bus was delayed for an hour or so -_-
I
don't know. KL Konsortiums suck asses; larger than elephants. Why?
Simple. Schizzow and I rushed (he limped) from McDs at Masjid Jamek to
the Pudu bus stop at 9.30 or 9.45-ish. We were early as the girl from
the counter adviced me to be on Platform 4 by then and wait for the
10pm bus.
Long story short, our bus arrived at 11pm.
And also, when we wanted to get onto the bus, the person in charge of that bus said that our 10pm bus left.
_|_
But
then, he made a few thoughts as Schizzow and that fella nearly
quarreled (the bus attendant was rather rude..) because we were waiting
and being smoged to death since 9.30-ish, and he's telling us that our
10pm bus just left
without us? There were like, the rest of the 10pm bus passengers with us, aight. Gah. _|_
Anyways,
what's over, is over. Since Thursday, I don't know why, but memories
are starting to come back to me. It's been really lonely deep inside of
me, without her. For exactly 2 weeks, things aren't the same between us
anymore. We've finally drifted apart.
I guess the feelings she
once had for me, just phased out. Died. Finished. Depleted. Compressed
until it never existed. Mampuih-ed. Thrown away... And so many more..
I
think I'm trying a little bit too hard in patching things up to stay as
good friends, or the so-called "brother-sister" status we agreed on,
until I'm becoming the irritating side. Through this, I
will move on. It's going to be hard, but I have
no other choice as I can never go up to her to share my problems; especially if we
are the main problem.
I guess we would be those sort of friends, where we would catch up a lot right after a few months of not facing each other.
I'll still be seeing her in church. So I guess things would be
different. Maybe it's just that she's lazy to communicate over the
phone or MSN, but communicates better in person. Like a week ago in
Gurney, where she showed happiness that could be noticed. Hmmm.
If
I had one wish, it would be to make everything okay, even if it's us
being together, or not. Because this position I am in, is
killing me. *sighs*
I guess this verse I rapped on
A Night In The Sky
would explain me the best, right now. Since I think that history has
repeated itself. The distance that separated us, has made me
feel like I was being used - firstly, 4 years ago. Once in 2004, twice in 2005
, and once, in 2006
.Every story that begins, has a way to end.
And one way is to stop the love, and just be close friends.
Now my late nights, will be lonely again,
I never knew without you, my life's so plain.
My love, denied, by someone who's confused,
But it's alright, because I wasn't used.
At least I didn't be a fool in front of people's eyes,
But I still think, you're an angel in disguise.
And it ain't no lie. What you said was right;
what you said on the conversation, that very night.
I feel the pain, but no tears has been wasted.
Although if we succeeded, it would've lasted.
At least for a while, more than a 10 year trial,
But now it all ends, but sealing this file.
It's hard to forget you, even if I try,
But I alone, will spend a night in the sky.
1st line - needs no definition.
2nd line - That's what really happened.
3rd line - That's how I feel these days..
4th line - That's how much she meant to me
5th
line - She was confused; even on the very first day when we were
together. I was the one who planted hope, but always uprooted by her
own confusion..
6th line - At least I wasn't being 2-timed.
7th line - At least what we had, was real. Everything, and never lies.
8th
line - No matter how far we are, apart, you're still the best person,
in this world, because of your honesty and heart. And once, your
loyalty :)
9th + 10th line - You made sense. What's the point of our
relationship when I give love, and I don't get love back, although I
wouldn't mind doing so? But a relationship is just wrong, when one side
just dies out. I don't know how many people see this, but I've finally
seen it, yet it's being darkened..
11th line - Speaks well for itself
12th line - Same reason as 11th line.
13th
line - Maybe our relationship was a little bit too short, because it
never stopped blooming. It was too beautiful for it to end..
14th
line - But if a decision is made, both sides will respect it. And it's
my nature to let people have things their way, even if I want to
reject. I cause myself pain, just to make others smile.. Nobody really
knows who I am - not even I.
15th line - The line speaks well for itself.
16th
line - Time to face the fact. There's nobody special who would be by my
side, to always accompany me when I'm down and bored. Or to be loved.
It's anything....
She just called to apologise for not replying my SMS last night. Is
everything I'm doing a little bit too rushy, turning me into someone
irritating? Or are my thoughts deceiving my emotions, until I believe
things which aren't true?
I guess, there's only one thing I really wish for.
"If I had a wish; It's me, I would vanquish.."
- Glacius - Chances for Wishes.
PS.
I'm writing a new song for recording. It's entitled "Chances for
Wishes". It's a whole new material that I would be doing, in terms of
lyrics and melody. A lot of inspirations hit me while I was in KL. Too
Phat being played on the last 2 days; noticing what they're good for,
MC David, Joe Satriani's Guitar Secrets.. Even my emotions. I really
wish I could bottle up my inspirations and use it whenever I want to.
It's an amazing thing when it comes to music.
gua blur 
