[Vai Freak] Glacius

Mood: -less
Listening To: In Flames - Only For The Weak








Yep. Most of you know I was on a break with my girlfriend, Vanesa Kumaara.


Firstly, I would like to thank WoRmY, Denise, Michelle, Jessica, Florence, Shen Ai (Without the Yung. He didn't do much. lol), and Paul, for being there to listen to me when I'm down and going insane, literally.


The break is over. And so is our soon-to-be-7-months-by-7 days. Things couldn't work out from where they last ended, so we had a mutual breakup.


I'm shedding tears as I type this journal entry out now; but they're tears of happiness. Why? It ended. Not to say that I didn't love her from the start; but I did. No. We did. Whatever we did.. we just loved each other for who we were.


Some things can't just last forever; and our relationship didn't. But I've learnt a lot from it. Goddamn it, out of love, I even got a new phone. Lol. I admit, it is a good phone. And I've had the best times that nobody could've given me in my life. But I became something I was proud of. She admitted it to me during Christmas.


I'm everything that her ex wasn't. So I'm satisfied :).


I'm single again, yaw. NS is comin up and SPM results too.


Funniest thing would be love. Love is blind. I used to think it was bullshit, but I believe in it now. Whatever we had just blinded us in whatever we did. I guess the problem that ended the spark of love would be me. Not her. Because I didn't spend enough time with her. But I couldn't even meet up with her because her parents was strict on her.


But I'm glad that I had her, for real. She did not lie when she gave me everything of who she was. I was glad that she had been so honest to me even when she lost her feelings for me by so much.. Not many would've notified the other side of that small matter because some might just be scared.. Then the next thing you would know, it's over.


I loved the times to know that she was just there, to watch me do in what I am best. Is to play the guitar. FUsion Party, she was there. And she'd watch me play the guitar in church anytime. She sang under Yamaha's Music School for some charity concert held by the Adventist Hospital; and.. nothing could explain how I felt when I saw her up there.


I'm unsure if I can face her in reality, because I get different feelings when I'm just standing right beside her. That's how strong my love was for her. No strings attached.


If y'all feel like callin me up just to talk to cheer me up, I'd appreciate every company I'd get because I realised that I'm alone now..


:).


Best thing; I didn't lose her as a friend, but somehow, I know things wouldn't be the same. There's a price to pay when it comes to broken relationships; but I'm the type of person who would patch things up even if I don't like it; because it's good to have a friend than an enemy.


Well, goodbye, my love. Hello Vanesa Kumaara..


Thank you for always being there and showing me the greater sides of life instead of the bad ones. Believe me, you have shown me the greater sides of life. You were one of it that made me believe life is worth living; or I would've commit suicide a long time ago You've taught me how to live again and I'm both sad and happy to lose you...


Haha.. I can't stop crying. I sound like a dumbfuck now..


I just deleted all of her msgs.. But not the pictures. Instead, I renamed the whole folder to Past Memories.. in my handphone. To remember how I was to her, how much I meant to her, how I loved being by her side. Those pictures are just there; just to remind me how she's been the best I've ever had; the one I've thought of instead of anyone else and everything else..


Peace.


PS. We just got back together. But I'm unsure if it'll last for long. I'm a risk-taker and this is one risk I'm taking to see how far we can go..